Many of you have been introduced to the Enneagram through the Beyond Thinking progamme and will recall what invaluable insight you found when making the connection between your personality and core underlying fears.

The fact is, we are more fixated on the fear of the unknown – F.O.T.U – than we are on the fear of missing out. The reason for this, is we are hard wired to value survival over and above all else. Our auto responders kick in more readily and strongly to protect ourselves from danger (read also, perceived pain of the unknown), before moving towards pleasure and F.O.M.O

Some days it feels like the battle with our fears is never ending but a good starting point is in acknowledging that your internal system is in flight-fight mode most of your waking day. What matters next is most important and it is in how you handle this human phenomenon.

A variety of sources (research articles, books, TED Talks, formal and informal schools of thought) reveal a countless number of wellness experts, who have dedicated themselves to dealing with the topic of fear. Be it psychological, medical, spiritual, biological or neuroscientific, they cover every imaginable angle and strategy for overcoming the limitation of fear.

For the purposes of this blog we are dealing with everyday perceived f>e>a>r otherwise known as false evidence appearing real, which has its root cause in things like beliefs and constructed reality. Many answers can be found in self-regulation and to understand further, I promised you some useful tips and here they are:-

Susan Jeffers wrote the best seller “Feel the fear and do it anyway” back in 1987. I came across this gem in 2007 and at that time it intrigued me that one could master fear. Susan offers the following immensely helpful self-coaching fear truths in her book, which can also be found on her website.


The fear will never go away as long as you continue to grow!

Every time you take a step into the unknown, you experience fear. There is no point in saying, “When I am no longer afraid, then I will do it.” You’ll be waiting for a long time. The fear is part of the package.


The only way to get rid of the fear of doing something, is to go out and…do it!

When you do it often enough, you will no longer be afraid in that particular situation. You will have faced the unknown and you will have handled it. Then new challenges await you, which certainly add to the excitement in living.


The only way to feel better about yourself is to go out and…do it!

With each little step you take into unknown territory, a pattern of strength develops. You begin feeling stronger and stronger and stronger.


Not only are you afraid when facing the unknown, so is everyone else!

This should be a relief. You are not the only one out there feeling fear. Everyone feels fear when taking a step into the unknown. Yes, all those people who have succeeded in doing what they have wanted to do in life have felt the fear – and did it anyway. So can you!


Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the bigger underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness!

This is the one truth that some people have difficulty understanding. When you push through the fear, you will feel such a sense of relief as your feeling of helplessness subsides. You will wonder why you did not take action sooner. You will become more and more aware that you can truly handle anything that life hands you.

In short, her overall strategy is that of moving from the fear of I can’t handle it to I will handle it. Personally, I find taking action to be the most liberating experience of all… as Susan says, ‘feel the fear and do it anyway!’

Maybe it’s time you took action and I wonder what that could be, as you surprise yourself too?


Warm regards,


[et_bloom_inline optin_id=optin_4]