Daniel Goleman, Ph.D., says about EQ, “If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far”
How many can say they have a high level of EQ based on this comment? Personally I know there is always room for improvement and every day is a day to practise just this. You can read more about his work in the best-seller Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ,
So what exactly is Emotional Intelligence? Some say EQ is that intangible “something” in each of us. It affects how we manage behaviour, navigate social complexities and make personal decisions that achieve positive results. It is commonly believed that emotional intelligence is made up of four core skills that pair up under two primary competencies: namely personal competence and social competence which Psychology Today categorises as:
- The ability to accurately identify your own emotions, as well as those of others
- The ability to utilise emotions and apply them to tasks, like thinking and problem-solving
- The ability to manage emotions, including controlling your own, as well as the ability to cheer up or calm down another person
Here’s a fun question. If EQ was a measure of value, how wealthy and in what currency would that be for you? We can usually get a fairly good sense on others but how well can you assess yourself? As it turns out, not that accurately due to the blind spots neuroscience calls cognitive bias.
I’ve been wondering how we overcome this ever so human trait for unconscious bias and it requires we commit to being more conscious which includes daily practises to stimulate increased awareness.
A lifelong journey which I hope you are becoming curious to know more of. One way to deepen your EQ skills is to actively seek out information that uncovers unconscious aspects such as seeking 360 degree feedback. Another way is to participate in diagnostic tools and one of the more credible and convenient assessments delivered right to your inbox, can be done online with Dr Tasha Eurich. Tasha’s wonderfully quirky style includes a light hearted poke at ourselves and is a fun way of covering this topic. Go here to start the 14 Question Quiz which literally takes around 5 minutes to complete.
The gist of her work covers the idea of how “self-awareness is made up of two types of insight that aren’t always related.
- On one hand, internally self-aware people can see themselves clearly—that is, they understand their inner values, passions, aspirations, ideal environment, patterns (including their strengths and weaknesses), and impact on others.
- On the other hand, externally self-aware people know how others see them—that is, how people around them see their values, passions, aspirations, ideal environment, patterns (including their strengths and weaknesses), and impact on others.
Because internal and external self-awareness are independent, we can think of them as two intersecting dimensions that create four different archetypes, each with distinctly different characteristics, challenges, and strategies for improving insight”.
The Archetypes:
- Seekers are low on both internal and external self-awareness
- Introspectors are high in internal self-awareness but low in external self-awareness
- Pleasers are high in external self-awareness but low in internal self-awareness
- Aware people are high in both internal and external self-awareness
I really enjoyed how she talks to this topic and hope you find it as illuminating and exciting. Nearly any informative article one reads on EQ covers the fact that EQ could well be more important than IQ as a career booster and path to greater financial wealth. Uncovering blind spots becomes more compelling than ever once we know this.
Take the Quiz and find out a bit more of what you don’t know about yourself ☺ Then once you have, ask the question ‘what could you do or be today that would create more awareness for you to function from high internal and external awareness – a place of self mastery and self value’?
Remember, it starts with You – have fun exploring!
Diane
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